As a writer and journalist, I’ve become an observer of humanity. I eavesdrop on conversations, picking up tidbits here and there. On New Year’s Eve, I watched the people around me drinking. The closer it got to midnight, the drunker everyone became. Right before countdown time, I hit the bathrooms, and encountered what I’ve now classified as one of the 5 types of drunks: The Weeper.
|A Rainbow cocktail from Pat O'Briens
in New Orleans. And, yes, I drank it!
Here’s the Breakdown:
1) The Weeper: When the level of alcohol reaches a certain point, the tears begin to fall. Often, you’ll find these specimens hanging out in restrooms, lamenting about all of the “good years” they’ve given some guy, without anything in return. The midnight maudlin I’d run into was crying about how at 22 her life was over, and she’d given her boyfriend the last good five years. I wanted to tell her that really … there’s plenty of time left for heartbreak ;-) But who’s to listen to an old woman like me?
2) The Sleeper: I’ve got no idea how writers such as Stephen King and Anne Rice supposedly wrote these fantastic books while being drunk. After a few glasses of wine, I’m ready to hit the sheets, and not in a good way (see #5 below).
3) The Yeller: Ever heard the term “mean drunk?” It’s not just a cliché, but a category. Some say that liquor lets out true personalities, and some I’d rather not know. Usually, it’s men that fall into this niche, and if you know that you tend to pick fights and smash walls while drinking then maybe it’s better to abstain.
4) The Life of the Party: Take a shy person, mix in a few Cosmos and what do you get? Sometimes, a personality peeps out. Vivacious and friendly, people often wish that this hidden persona would show up more often.
5) The Sexy Drinker: Probably the classification most written about in erotic romance. Certainly, I don’t condone drinking into one gets “stupid,” and doesn’t know what they’re doing. But, if some of those inhibitions fall by the wayside, and the situation leaves them open to experiencing something new or pursuing that dream-mate, then it’s all good.
So what have I missed? Is there a category that I’m forgetting about? Do you know someone that falls into one of these categories? Usually when I write a post about drinking, I get a lot of comments about how the reader is not a drinker at all … fess up: What type of drinker are you?