Friday, May 31, 2013

Worst Wedding Experiences with D.C. McMillen

D.C. McMillen drops by with a tale of a good wedding, gone bad. Bring on the welcome!

My latest release is a fun little story called The Wedding. It involves a woman who would rather undergo a medical procedure than attend a wedding as someone’s date, yet somehow she manages to get sucked in. I’ll tell you more about The Wedding soon but before then, I’d like to share a little story that’s in keeping with the topic of weddings.

I attended a wedding not too long ago - a wedding that, in every single aspect and on all levels, exemplified exactly what not to do if you’re hosting such a function.

To begin with, the couple decided to hold their September wedding on a golf course about an hour outside of Toronto.  Why a couple would choose an outdoor wedding in the fall is beyond me. 

It took forever to find the venue. Perhaps it would have been easier if it was not foggy, overcast and spitting rain. Once we did get to the golf course, parking was quite far from the front doors. My boyfriend held his suit jacket over my head and we made a run for it.

Despite our fears, we were not late. In fact, the bride, groom and entire wedding party were late because they were taking photos. Once the wedding commenced, which was moved indoors for obvious reasons, it took FOREVER to finish. I mean, forever. When the ceremony did finally end, we were herded outside. That’s right, outside. Crowded into a poorly covered, not quite heated patio, we were made to wait at a cash bar. No hors d'oeuvres. The guests huddled together in steadily dropping temperatures and increasing rainfall. After about an hour, I had to go to the washroom. I tried to re-enter the building but another guest stopped me.

“We’re not allowed in,” she complained. “They’re taking photos inside so we have to walk around the building to get to the washroom.”

“Are you kidding me? I have to walk through the rain on a mushy lawn in stilettos because they are taking photographs?”  I was so angry that I actually stopped shivering for a moment.

“Yup, they even turned away her.” She pointed at a woman who had to be in her late seventies/early eighties. She wielded a cane.

“Oh hell no,” I exclaimed.

I walked over to the elderly lady, introduced myself and explained that she and I were going to use the washroom without walking around the building. I then gave pretty much the same speech to the employees who tried to stop us at the doors. After I pushed past them, other guests began to do the same.

Picture taking was over. Or so we thought. We were seated at our tables but dinner did not come. Instead came many loooooong speeches and videos interspersed with more posing for photos. Finally dinner was served. It was bland and cold, likely because it had been held off for too long for photos.

When dinner was over, my boyfriend and I sighed with relief. The dancing would soon start. We dutifully waited for the first dance, the father-daughter dance, and then the groom-mother dance to finish. Then the MC announced that the grandparents were now going to take the floor. We tamped down our impatience while other guests at our table groaned and grimaced. When all of the ceremonial dances were complete, we scraped back our chairs, ready to salvage the night. The MC then requested that the dance floor remain empty while the bridal party and relatives only take pictures on the dance floor.

“Are you kidding me?” I asked for the second time that night.  

Half an hour later, photos were still being taken on the dance floor. And no, we were not allowed to cross it to get a drink at the bar. Basically, the second class guests had nothing to do but make small talk and watch the first class guests pose for the camera. It became painfully apparent that we were only invited because they wanted our cash gift.

“Well,” I addressed the table. “It’s 11pm and this is officially the worst wedding I’ve ever been to. Despite that, it’s been a pleasure meeting all of you. Good evening.”

We left without interrupting the bride and groom’s activities. In fact, we had not had an opportunity to greet them all day. The rest of our table followed suit, leaving with us. Other tables noticed us leaving and began gathering their things.

The next day, my boyfriend received a phone call from the groom. Apparently the money/card box had been stolen by a stranger or bitter guest.

“Okay, well thanks for letting me know,” I heard the boyfriend say. “I’ll cancel the cheque on Monday.”  Then I heard, “Dude are you serious?...That’s why you called me?....No, I don’t know how much the dinner cost...Fine, I’ll send you another cheque but I’m writing Go fuck yourself on the memo line.”

Don’t worry, folks. As angry as I was, I did convince the boyfriend fill in the memo line with something more suitable to the occasion. Specifically, I made him write Congratulations! before adding Go fuck yourself.

Now it’s your turn. What was your worst wedding experience? Before you answer, here’s a little more about my latest release, The Wedding.

The Wedding

Karen is not the type to attend a wedding with a guy she’s only slept with once but, in a rare display of empathy, she agrees to accompany her new landlord Allen to this sure-to-be-boring function. Fortunately, Karen knows how to have a good time, and she’s pretty sure she and Allen can make their own fun...even if they have to do it in the outdoors just steps away from a couple hundred stuffy wedding guests.

The Wedding, mini-excerpt:

The car rumbled to life and he pulled from the roundabout into traffic. He seemed at ease, his hand alternately resting on my thigh and the shifter. As we neared our destination, however, his comfort steadily dissipated.  His fingers tapped against the wheel and he smoothed his other hand along the thigh of his dress pants. Jesus, I hope he’s not going to act like this all night. There better be an open bar.
“So, uh, like I said,” he said finally. “My ex-best friend and his wife won’t be there.”
“Uh huh,” I said, distracted. Who doesn’t have an open bar at a wedding these days? No one, that’s who. God, I hope the champagne is good. I need an overflowing glass of expensive champagne, like, ten minutes ago. Since when does Karen Valentine go to weddings as someone’s date?


Buy Links:

D.C. McMillen enjoys writing about dirty sex in questionable places but has been known to write about other subjects, on special occasions. She is featured in MuseItHot’s Short & Spicy line up with The Rental, The Wedding and A Decent December. D.C.’s short stories and flash fiction can be found in several anthologies and other print and online publications. She is obsessed with Twitter and invites you to look her up at @mcmillendc, on her blog, or Facebook.

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Get Ready for Spankee Doodle Dandy

For those in the northern hemisphere, summer is here! What better way to celebrate summer vacations than to give (or receive) a sizzling hot spanking? After the rousing success of Love Spanks and Spank or Treat, Anastasia Vitsky and her team of spanking fiction authors have returned to bring you a collective Spankee Doodle Dandy story extravaganza.  It’s love and kisses for adults, and we do mean adults

Want to become a Spankee Doodle Dandy ambassador and earn an extra prize entry? See below!

Even better, participation could earn you a GRAND PRIZE!

Many authors will also be offering a contest on their individual blogs.  Your comment on their blogs automatically enters you in both the main contest and the individual contests! 

What’s the catch?  Absolutely nothing!  We love writing for you and want to thank you for your readership.  Perhaps someone might get a spanking or two, but that’s a reward rather than a catch, right?  ;)

Here are the rules:

  1. Visit each blog between the Thursday, June 20th and Sunday, June 23rd to read the posted stories and excerpts.
  2. Leave a comment answering the story question on each blog.  You will receive one entry per blog for the grand prize drawing.  You will also be automatically entered in that author’s individual contest, if he or she has one.
  3. If you have visited all of the blogs, visit Ana’s blog to sign up for FIVE bonus entries to the grand prize. 
    Deadline is midnight EDT (UTC -4) on June 23rd!!
  4. If you successfully completed the Love Spanks or Spank or Treat challenge and visited all of the blogs for either challenge, you may add "VIP" to your comments.  You will earn THREE bonus entries toward the grand prize.  (Yes, we will be doing this again.  Yes, if you successfully complete the Spankee Doodle Dandy challenge you can become a VIP for our next activity!)
  5. Visit any of the participating blogs on Thursday, June 28th to find out the lucky winners.  Will it be you? 
Like these events? Want to support your friendly spanking fiction authors? Become a Spankee Doodle Ambassador! In exchange for promoting this event, you will receive one extra prize entry, AND you are still eligible to participate and win prizes! To find out the details, send an email to ana_stasia2007 at yahoo dot com, with the subject line “Spankee Doodle Ambassador”.

For more information, updates, and a list of participating authors, please visit:

Friday, May 17, 2013

The Wicked Fifties!

Please welcome Carole Remy. She's giving away one ebook copy of her novel. To enter, leave a comment with a valid email address, and a winner will be chosen at random on Monday, May 20.

Thank you so much for inviting me to your lovely blog, Louisa! My novel Beauty of the Beast is set in 1950, so here’s a little peek into the different world of our parents and grandparents.

The Wicked Fifties!

In 1950, the world was emerging from a long, hard war, World War II. After years of rationing, air raid drills, and widespread military service, the populace was ready to let loose and have fun! Many veterans, like my father, enrolled straight into college on the G.I. Bill. While money was tight, the mood was upbeat and optimistic.

The war effort had meant outside-of-the-home jobs for women in unprecedented numbers. While the men were off fighting, the women learned they could weld and drive buses and run factories. In Beauty of the Beast, Mary Jane is an ambitious young reporter, fighting for recognition in what was still a male dominated newsroom. Soldiers came home to a different world from the one they had left. The Master, the Beast, has returned from a German prisoner of war camp, embittered and bent on revenge.

Women feeling empowered + Men returning as conquering heroes with tormented souls = Instant sexual tension! You can see it in the advertisements of the day. I can’t include them here for copyright reasons, but you can see 23 sexy images I’ve collected on the Beauty of the Beast Pinterest board.

Then as now, sex sells, and the images were screaming hot and obvious in the 1950s! Spanking is a familiar theme, from college party photos to men punishing their wives for buying the wrong brand of coffee.

Overt SM became mainstream in the 1950s. Sexy pinup images for soldiers overseas came home with them. The hugely popular Bettie Page posed with whips and enacted spanking scenes for photographer Irving Klaw. Photographs of naked women in ads for products as diverse as stockings to car wax were “photoshopped” to appear to be sketches.

This is the world Mary Jane and the Master inhabit. This is the world where they meet, clash, and light sparks to bonfires of desire, a world where the fiery Mary Jane confronts the carnal darkness of the Beast. Can she unleash the gentle beauty trapped deep in his soul? Can he trigger the wild wanton beast beneath the prim business skirts? Will they find heartbreak or true love in the wicked 1950s?

Beauty of the Beast
Carole Remy

Genre: erotic romance

Number of pages: 265
Word Count: 65,500

Tag Line

The year is 1950. The town is Austin, Texas. Young reporter Mary Jane Andrews isn’t sure what SM is, but she’s heard that it’s going on outside Austin, and she’s determined to investigate.

Book Description:

Mary Jane Andrews is what Texans call a pistol. She thinks fast, acts faster, and takes the consequences with a laugh. The year is 1950. Young reporter Mary Jane isn’t sure what SM is, but she’s heard that it’s going on outside Austin, and she’s determined to investigate. Once she meets the Master, she’s both enthralled and scared spitless.
What’s a Master to do when his hotter-than-sin sexual soul mate shows up at the door of his highly illegal sex house? Don’t worry, he has lots of ideas...

Trouble is, Mary Jane wants the story. And the Master won’t spend the rest of his natural life in jail. The sex is explosive, inventive, and addictive, both ways. Will it be bend or break for the insatiable Beauty and the masterful Beast?

About the Author:
Carole Remy lives in Mexico with her beloved dog Gemma. When she isn’t writing and touring her novels, you can find her rescuing dogs, learning wood sculpture, and salsa dancing!

Twitter: @Carole_Remy

Carole Remy Author