Monday, February 17, 2014

10 Worst Parts of Online Dating

Please welcome fellow OCC/RWA member and Decadent Publishing sister, Skylar Kade, with her rocking hot F/F Exposing Ellen. This weekend, I had the pleasure of getting up close and personal with this new 1Night Stand, and mmmm, as delicious as the cover suggests! In celebration of her release, Kade's giving away some F/F books (see below for details). 

In Exposing Ellen, my heroines Aimee and Ellen are set up on a 1Night Stand by the magical Madame Evangeline. For Aimee, this was a welcome change from her foray into online dating. While some people have fantastic luck, she didn’t. Here’s Aimee’s list of the 10 worst parts of online dating.
  1. Messages like “hey gurl. wanna trade pix?”
  2. My favorite food? What does that have to do with compatibility? Those questions are a little ridiculous.
  3. Selfies in the bathroom mirror. Enough said.
  4. Another note on selfies—look at what’s behind you before snapping that pic. Granny does not make for a sexy background.
  5. On first dates, you have to match up a woman’s online photo to what she *actually* looks like in real life. Awkward.
  6. Men who think you’re a lesbian because you just, and I quote, “haven’t been properly f***ed”.
  7. Getting into a long, wonderful conversation with a nice chick, only to have her delete her profile with no notice or way to contact her.
  8. Figuring out if women who list “bisexual” are truly looking to date a woman, or if they’re looking to tick something off their sexual to-do list.
  9. Hoping someone who knows you in real life doesn’t come across your profile.
  10. That awkward first date hug-cum-handshake thing that you do when all you know about a person is a combination of their profile and whatever snippets of conversation you had before meeting.

To celebrate the release of Exposing Ellen (and the romance of Valentine's Day), I'm giving away a slew of F/F romance e-books!

If you haven't read these authors yet, here's your chance to discover an amazing new writer. And if you've never read F/F, welcome to an addictive new genre!

Huge thanks go out to Louisa Bacio, Kate Richards, Lucy Felthouse, Erzabet Bishop, Scarlet Chastain, Rebekah Weatherspoon, Harper Bliss, and K.T. Grant.
Entering is simple: each action below earns entries! The contest closes at midnight on 2/17, so you have over a week to rack up the entries. Each book will go to a different randomly-selected winner!
To enter, use the widget below or visit

a Rafflecopter giveaway


Ellen Porter is a stranger to the single life--as much a stranger as she is to facing her same-sex desires. The recent divorcee, desperate to prove that her attraction to women is just a phase, enlists the help of Madame Eve for one night of “getting it out of her system.”

Aimee Tran has had enough of the Los Angeles bar-hopping scene. In pursuit of a genuine romantic connection, she discovers Madame Eve and decides that maybe, just maybe, a one-night stand will tide her over until she finds The One.

Neither woman expects lust to burn down their preconceived notions—or to crave more than one desperate tryst.



Skylar Kade, self-avowed hedonist and princess extraordinaire, started her writing career after throwing aside yet another romance she could not bring herself to finish. The run-on sentences! The purple prose! Oh, the horror of it was just too much. So she sat down to write her own tale. Her favorite part about writing is the extensive research.

She currently resides in sunny southern California, alternately cursing the polluted air and adoring the weather. Skylar spends her time asking the cabana boys to bring her more mimosas and feed her strawberries while she dreams up her next naughty adventure.

She blogs at the SkylarVerse and with the Nine Naughty Novelists.



“I....” She shook her head, terrified of the eagerness building inside her. “I have no idea what I’m doing,” she eventually whispered. “I’m sorry. Contacting 1NightStand was a bad idea, not fair to you at all.” Paolo might have been right. Her broken marriage was her fault.

She moved out of the balcony doorway but gentle fingers settled on her shoulders. “Not so fast, hon.” Aimee’s voice pitched low. “It’s not like I know what I’m doing either. I’ve never called up Madame Eve before.”

Ellen stared out over the ocean, where her date’s beauty didn’t distract her and she didn’t have to see the condemnation in Aimee’s eyes. “It’s more than being new to a dating service.” She paused and swallowed around her embarrassment. Neither in her mother’s house nor her husband’s had she been encouraged to talk about intimate issues. She hadn’t even heard certain anatomical euphemisms spoken out loud until her husband’s mistress ended up in their bed. Still, she forged on—Aimee deserved an explanation. “I’ve only been with a woman once, kind of. You obviously know what you’re doing and it’s not fair to you to be stuck for a night with someone who—”

Aimee spun her around, pulled her close, and twisted her fingers through Ellen’s hair. “Am I imagining your arousal?”

Oh, Lord. Her lips parted. The other woman stood so near. Her tongue flicked across Ellen’s lips and she bit off a moan. “I—”

Aimee pressed closer until their breasts squished together. One of her legs slid between Ellen’s. “Am I imagining your little gasps of pleasure? Of desire?” She bit Ellen’s earlobe. “If I am, tell me to leave. Because, honey, right now your inexperience is turning me on.”


  1. Thanks for letting me visit Louisa! I'm glad you enjoyed Exposing Ellen :)

    1. Louisa, isn't it? Could be a fun continuation series... :D

  2. The top ten is great! Happy Sales:)

    1. I totally got a kick out of it Olivia!

    2. Olivia, this was a fun list to brainstorm. And painfully true!

  3. Great post! Good luck with your new release.

    1. Thanks Anastasia! It's a blast seeing so much wonderful enthusiasm for f/f romance.

  4. Hope this gives you lots of sales! :D

    1. jswayne, *fingers crossed*! It's great to have such a strong and growing f/f reader community :)